Page 26// Fail

Yesterday I failed.  I lost it.  The happy face ungracefully fell of and revealed the ugly stressed out face I try to save for when the kids are not around. 

Since the first week in September when we found the mice, Sophie has been terrified to go downstairs alone.  She won’t sleep in her room. She won’t play down there unless someone else is with her.  If she forgets her math book for school, someone needs to go with her to get it. 

Yesterday was busy.  First we got up and found another mouse after not seeing any for almost a month.  We got together at our house with friends in the morning with friends and made Halloween crafts and ate lunch together.  Then we had check ups.  Then we got ready for our Halloween party. 

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I’m downstairs doing hair, putting on their costumes, drawing on fake beards when I notice Sophie’s room is a disaster from her and her friends that morning.  And not just a “playing” mess.  A mess mess.  Crap thrown in sticky mouse traps, little tiny shreds of paper everywhere, things pulled out of every drawer and basket.  And I was instantly pissed off. 

I made her go into her room to clean it up before the party.  She started crying immediately because she was scared. Even though I was right outside her door getting the boys ready, she was petrified.  But every time she came out, I walked her right back in.  After about three times of repeating this, we were both crying. Frustrated over it all. Tired over it all. And then we just sat on the floor and hugged each other, crying.  And then we both cleaned up the mess and threw a party.

The thing about kids is that they forgive quickly.  Even if you yell at them and cry about it, they still forgive you.  Even if you feel like you failed, they still want to be with you and they hug you later and say thank you for the party.  You both sleep it off and snuggle over morning sunbeams and Monsters Inc. on Disney Channel and coffee.
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Thankful for today:
1. my kids
2. Vera’s smile the moment she wakes up…every single time
3. kids in costumes
4. simple entertainment
5. sleeping it off
6. mouse traps
7. thankful that Sophia said she’s thankful that Noah can go camping this weekend. Love their love for each other.
8. friends with 6th sense
9. nothing to do this weekend
10. long morning baby naps, allowing for quality time with big kids



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6 Comments

  1. i could fill a book, wait, MANY books with all of the times i have lost it and had to apologize to my children.
    happened again just yesterday.
    thank God for grace and unconditional love!
    xoxo

  2. I failed. Just an hour ago. Quinn threw a fit at Trenton's baseball game. Her crying the way she screams…it embarrasses me. Makes me feel like a terrible mom. I left, after one inning. Super pissed. Beyond pissed really. She was crying I was crying. I looked at her throwing her fit today, and realized I threw a 34 year old fit that God had to watch. It was ugly. So so very ugly.

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