Page 17// Spiritual Thoughts

On our way to Awana last night Sophie was practicing her scripture.  Over and over she’s repeating: “For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles are just one point is guilty of breaking all of it. James 2:10”

After about 15 times, she asks me, “mommy, is this really true?”

I know what she’s thinking because I’m thinking the same thing: it sounds harsh.  So I look up the scripture at home and read more of the passage.  James Chapter 2 ends with something about acting like a person that will be judged by the law and if you show no mercy you’ll receive no mercy and how mercy triumphs over judgment.

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I didn’t know how to answer her question.  How do I say that God, who loves us, is that harsh on the people he loves.  I think this is a hard concept for a child…or an adult really.  It sounds like something that could be taken way to the next level and create something judgmental or legalistic. 

I sort of just said something like, “Everybody sins…we just need to ask for forgiveness.”

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I haven’t been reading my bible hardly at all.  I’m in a really raw and honest place with God, not seeking answers and trying trying trying to figure this all out.  I don’t even know if he answers questions like that.  I’m just sort of being. More than clawing at the banks to stop and figure out the course, I’m letting the current take me.  I’ve tried too long and too hard to figure out the why’s or the what-should-we-do-next’s.  Its exhausting and nothing produces.  There are no answers.  Scriptures like this one above are hard for me to swallow.  I wish she hadn’t had this one to memorize.  Right now, my kids need to know how much God loves us.  I don’t want them to be confused about him.  I want them to cling to the fact that he loves us deeply, that’s it.  That’s all they need right now…and you know what, that’s all I need too.  All I want them to know is that God loves us and we’ll be in a less stressful, happier situation in life someday.  All the other: praying about what steps to do next, praying for what lessons we should be learning…these are things I will not talk about with my kids.  Because the answers may not come for months and months.  We may never figure out the whys.  Let’s not confuse things.

God is love.  He loves me.  Spiritually speaking, this is my only focus.
Thankful for today:
1. Vera didn’t wake up at 5am like she has the last three days in a row!!!
2. coffee with a friend yesterday
3. how my German friend calls my girls “Schatz” my treasure…it is the sweetest
4. Halloween party planning
5. quiet nights
6. watching Vera fall asleep
7. finding Jack brushing Sophie’s hair
8. God loves me.
9. crisp Fall walks
10. washing the kids’ hair in the sink…like a mini spa

click here to read from the beginning


  1. I am LOVING your posts. Here's something I thought of for you:

    "Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending to do (God's) will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys." "The prayers offered in the state of dryness are those which please Him best."
    -Screwtape Letters, CS Lewis


  2. Sorry I haven't been over here in a long time. My plate has been so full! I remember those Awana days. I miss them, and I miss all the years I taught GA's at our old church.
    I like these posts! I'm going to come back and read through all of them.
    I've been a bit emotional today (good and bad) because it's my oldest daughter's 21st birthday.


  3. We're not New Year's celebrating kind of people, but we're anxious to bid 2013 farewell. It's been a hell of a year for us, and I find I don't even have the words or the give-a-care anymore to explain all that's happened to others who ask. In those moments of darkness and confusion, I cling to the hope that somehow despite my stubborn and foolish heart the gospel will have victory over my sin in the end. This song really speaks truth to me…

  4. Well amen to that. I'm pretty sure until we stand before Him someday we'll never understand the why's. So yeah focus on love and His goodness. Cause even in the confusing moments that's the foundation of everything.

  5. Interesting how I see that verse very differently. Instead of feeling condemned to try to keep every tiny bit of the law, I feel so freed because Christ has set us free from the law. A perfect and Holy God would have to have a perfect and holy law. That only makes sense. He gave mankind the opportunity to try to keep the law on our own because so many of us think we can "earn" our salvation" by doing "things." But the Israelites couldn't. And we can't. But that is where the freedom comes in. "For there is now NO CONDEMNATION for those who are in Christ Jesus." We are freed from the impossibility of trying to "earn" our own salvation. It is a gift and I think Sophie would have no trouble understanding that you giver her gifts at Christmas and birthdays and other times just because you love her; not because you require her to keep a list of rules. God offers us the gift of freedom from the law, freedom from condemnation and freedom from hell because of His great love. 🙂

  6. God does loves you. I have learned that sometimes He brings great difficulties or trials to bring me to me knees and recognize that He is in control. I love to plan and fret and worry but really, for me, it's the simple fact that I don't really trust Him or think He can handle it. How foolish of me. I am praying for you.

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