It isn’t the easiest thing making new friends in a place where you don’t know a single soul. Also the thing about friends for me is, I don’t have a whole lot of extra curricular time, so the friends I do have I want real friendships. I just don’t have a lot of time for surface in my life right now.
Not knowing a single soul is intimidating. It gets to you. I hadn’t thought about friends much before we moved. Homeschool moms don’t have a whole lot of extra time for friend things anyway. I remember that feeling of being the only person in the world when we pulled into town two years ago. After the excitement of getting there and our long drive, there were so many emotions anyway…but that feeling of complete anonymity was the worst.
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Jarrod and I both know and appreciate how rare it is to become close friends, especially fast close friends. Becoming really close to another family here almost immediately was such a blessing to us.
We recently pinpointed where we think things started to feel out of control. Last August seems to be the culprit. There was so much big change and upheaval; a trip home evoking all sorts of emotions, I turned 30, the big shocker of Ms. Vera, Jarrod’s boss at the time, who he loved, moved, and the kicker: our best friends in Asheville moved.
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Vera was a game changer. A plus sign on a stick meant so much more than its simplicity showed. I had just come from a trip of being showered with love and comfort from my family and then I was back where almost no one knew me and some of the only people that did were moving. Finding out I was pregnant, I felt like one of those billboards: Pregnant? Alone? Yep. Yep. Even now, I feel the difference between having babies where I know everyone to having a baby where I know no one. Obviously, Jarrod, but still…I wanted my mom, my aunts, my sister, my old friends…someone. A feeling crept in that I still haven’t been able to define: sad? alone? What is the word for “wanting one’s family and friends in a life-changing situation?” Still, even now, things are better but I can’t put my finger on that emotion. I’m so glad that my mom was here for the month of April. It was the most up and down we have ever ever been emotionally as a family, but her being here softened the blows.
With our friends, unfortunately, geography and circumstances have come between us. Losing them was one of the losses we’ve grieved. Life and its twists wrenched its way between us and things with us are strained, which makes us all sad. I have hope that when our life seems less upheaved, maybe that friendship won’t have the stigmas it does now. Time heals most things and I have high hopes that this falls in the category of mosts.
Things like this make me feel more seasoned, like I’ve lived through some things. We had an amazing summer last year: beach trips, getaways, loads of activities, concerts, impromptu barbeques and it all seemed to crash at the very end but even so, we have great memories and great stories. That is forever. Life can be so unkind, especially if we think about it too much. Very rarely do we get any answers from overanalyzing anyway. All we can do is forge ahead.
Thankful for today:
1. 3/4 of my kids who get themselves ready for the day
2. cards in the mail
3. planning reunions with old friends in South Dakota
4. finding the best fall leaves for projects
5. long naps meaning lists checked off plus….
6. afternoon coffee
7. kids that do chores without asking
8. Friday night plans
9. being too cozy to get up early
10. deep friendship
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