Two Months of Antisocialism

At the start of the year, I set out to have a different sort of year.  This year I am seeking quiet focus.  Quieting my thoughts, my ambitions, my actions, my emotions and focusing on the things that matter, and not just big things…maybe not the big things at all for the time being, but the very small things; what’s for lunch, history units, going for a walk, a small birthday party, and any other assortment of the million things that are so small, but make up so much of what is so important.  I want to focus on those things.

In the last two months I have done that.  I have quieted my heart and focused in on the daily important things I want to treasure up.  To achieve this, I became very antisocial for a long while.  I completely unplugged and forgot about the world in the stratosphere that is Instagram and blogs.  Could I be so bold to say that everyone must do this at some point??  I’m not talking about a day or a week hiatus.  That’s not enough.  But a good long month or two or three.  I really could have gone longer, but I was missing my friends and feeling my fingers start to itch. 

I think blogs and Instagram are fun.  They are great tools for inspiration and good vibes, but I think there needs to be a self-questioning that takes place as to what our motives are for being so engrossed in it.  It’s very easy for anyone, if not in the right mindset, to feel put off by reading blogs, hurt, sidetracked, and insignificant.  Not only that, but the continual messages and so called “inspiration” can take up so much of our precious time and steal what very little peace and quiet we have throughout our day.  I found myself scrolling through photo after photo of regurgitated devotionals and selfies as I ignored my son’s story of the century about his amazing Lego movie he made. 

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What is that about?  

I found myself latching on to other people’s dreams instead of listening to my own heart about what I want to do with my creativity and ambitions. 

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Why would I do that? 

I found myself questioning my own beliefs after reading someone’s interpretation of who they thought God was and what real faith is.

Who puts themselves through that?

If there is a time of waiting for any amount of time, a red light, a dentist’s office, a pause in the conversation, it is pure habit for most of us to reach for the slide button and check anything that may have happened in the thirty seconds that passed since our last update.  We carry our phones everywhere, its almost an extension of our body.  It’s the first thing we pick up in the morning and the last thing we put down.  It wakes us up by its alarm and Pinterest puts us to sleep. 

In December, I knew without a doubt that some of the disquiet in my life was due to my stupid phone and I intended to change that.  I dug out my old alarm clock from a box and forbade my phone a place beside my bed anymore.  For the last two months I have woken to either a baby in the monitor singing morning songs or a couple of sweet old ladies discussing their health on AM radio.  Believe me, its a peaceful way to wake up.  For most of the morning, my phone is no where near me.  We do school on the lower lever and my phone is far away in the kitchen.  Several times lately I smiled to myself because I couldn’t find my phone…I had left it in the car. For the entire day.  Call it a successful amputation.

One might wonder what someone like me might be doing all day without reading blogs, writing a blog, or posting their lunch to Instagram.  Lots of things really.

I created photobooks
taught my kids all kinds of wonderful Ancient Greece things
made Valentines
enjoyed my mom for 2 weeks
learned to bake with coconut flour
made our own trail mix bars…every single week
organized closets, drawers, and school rooms
listened to old music, Beirut, I forgot how much I loved you
listened to new music, Lorde, Team really gets me goin’ and Pharrell, we are damn Happy
read lots of books, list to follow soon
read tons of books to my kids, list to follow soon for that too
made multiple trips to the Biltmore
started a gratitude journal
got sick
got better
made memory boxes for my kids
watched the Olympics
lost a few pounds
entertained Flat Stanley
took my kids skating
planned ahead for holidays and birthdays
made peace with some things
saw things more clearly…

…lots of things.

I understand that this world of social media really does have so much to offer, but I never want it to surpass the things right in front of me.  I love to blog and share my thoughts, its a form of creativity, but to prevent overriding my quiet focus, I’m only dipping my toe in for the time being, releasing, but not necessarily receiving. 

There really was so much to take from a long break.  But most of all, its good to know that the world does in fact keep spinning even if we’re not blogging about it.


  1. Um, hi. I love this. You totally inspired me to cut back from social media, but the thing is, I still have one foot in the door. I hate that my kids see me checking my phone a bajillion times a day, cause i'm basically saying that it is more important than them. I want to do the things on your list instead of look at someone's dumb IG pic! And I want to hear more about the memory boxes you made ๐Ÿ™‚ Sounds right up my alley. I like you. A whole bunch. And I like that you're standing firm in your ground when all these peeps be missing you. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. You are very wise for your age, my dear. And please don't take that compliment like I'm being condescending or patronizing, because I don't mean it that way.

    Your daughters are so cute. Wow, time flies!

  3. I love every single bit of this post!! I have taken a week hiatus from FB and IG and it was so freeing. I found while at home visiting friends and family, I was filled to the brim and didn't give social media a second thought! I even read a whole book in one day….One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskamp….so lovely. I ended up deciding to not get on FB thru lent and with IG, I started a new account as a gratitude journal! Pics of things that bless my soul and I am only following my FAVORITE IG peeps! You of course are one, The change has been so freeing… really girl we are so on the same page…I want a list like you made!

  4. Ha! Yes it does indeed keep spinning… I just commented to another dear blog friend this am about how I sometimes think about quitting the blogging game altogether. yet I LOVE IT… it's in me somehow… but perhaps I feel like quitting when things are out of balance. Do you think that was part of it for you? I remember that I once was a mama without that outlet… but I had a big circle of friends at the time and now they are scattered all over the place and I don't have contact with most of them… hm… I think I need to think and pray some more about all of this. Love you for sharing your honesty with this! Missed you. ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. YESSSSSSSSSS lovely muma- I struggle with this love blogging/life balance every few months…
    You sound refreshed and soooo happy…
    Thinking of you and selfishly glad to see you back xxx

  6. Thank you. Simply that. I read and re-read the list of what you have done and that said it all. (But it IS good to be reading your words again!)

  7. Girl. You know my heart on this subject. You put it into words perfectly. I adore you.

    Now, let's talk about those cutie pa-tooty girls! Um . . .PRECIOUS!!!

  8. Girl, I hear you! My very last baby I'll ever have just turned 1 and do you know, for the first time ever{I think}, I studied her sweet little hand and noticed how her fingers are pudgier closer to her palm and taper down from there to the tips. I had never noticed this before! Why?!? Because, I am always dawdling on the computer or watching tv as I feed her. Shame! We lose sooo much that we'll never get back, just to see someone else's little ones or home, etc! Crazy, really!

    I really need to put the computer on restriction. Or myself. Ha!

  9. Well said, my friend. It is so healthy to take a break and really focus in on God, real life, and real quiet. I've done a couple extended breaks and it really was wonderful. I love the list of awesome things you did the last couple of months. Sounds refreshing! Hmmm, now I feel inspired to go dig out my alarm clock. ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. A few times I was like she can read my mind I've felt just the same for instance the devo or psalm thing I am a believer love and trust God to the highest but started to second guess myself and had thoughts of not being worthy enough because I don't post these. And the red light thing is awesome been there. Girl you are just the best I love your heart and your braveness to start a conversation that will help assure many!
    Happy Friday!!
    PS a birthday so soon what fun it must be. I have a secret, I am going to be a grandma!!! My daughter is expecting this fall She is 25 and I have always said to my kids please don't make me a grandma before I'm fifty God has a good sense of humor, Right? I just turned 50 last week… Seriously it's a blessing.

  11. I do love your posts so much! You sound like you have things sorted out well.

    I've bought the coconut flour but not worked out what to make with it yet! Any suggestions??

  12. Such TRUTH in this post! Your time was better spent and it's a lesson in managing all of the 'voices' that pull on us. Shutting out those voices become necessary to find the meaningful and purposeful. Thanks for sharing & encouraging the rest of us.
    Blessings, Sweet One-
    Susan @SugarBeans.org

  13. Love this. I quit blogging. I took FB off my phone and I moved IG to my last screen by itself. I was missing out on good stuff. I'm seriously thinking if deleting it all. Life's short. I'm 55 next month and the years have flown. I don't wanna miss it to social media I never read blogs. 3 in fact. You, Becky and my friend Jayme. That's it. All the social etiquette if answering each comment whether blog world or IG is just more to do. If I go missing…know I love your words and your pix. Blessings girl.

  14. Well said, Alicia. I so appreciate your heart on this.
    I don't even have a fancy phone to be attached to(the only way I can be on Instagram is on the Ipod I scored at a garage sale last summer:))
    I think everyone struggles with this, in some aspect or another…and whether they realize it or not.
    I get so sad when taking my girls out to eat, the park,etc… and see the parents in front of them totally entranced by their phones/devices. We all need to unplug more often and be present in the lives of those around us. Time with our children is all too fleeting as it is. I don't want to wake up one day and realized I missed out on it because I was too interested in what other people were doing.

  15. Right on! You are a good momma and one of my favorite blogs. Xoxo happy to see occasionally โค๏ธ

  16. Good stuff, Alicia. I needed this today after I declared my facebook break 2 days ago. It's sad, but I really think facebook (and possibly other social media) can become and addiction. The first day I gave it up, I removed the app from my phone and I kept catching myself throughout the day going back to the spot on my phone where the app was. Definitely need to break that habit.

    I have a confession… yesterday, I read way way back some of your blog posts, most of which when you were living in SD. It was fun to go back and read some of your old stories ๐Ÿ™‚ Miss and missed you girl!

  17. Well said! Social Media breaks have almost become trendy it seems. I have questioned why? But THIS my friend is the first thing that I have read that makes sense! How did you learn to bake with coconut flour without pinterest? LOL? I think I would be lost. I think I shall break at some point too…xo

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