Ride the River, Mama

It occurred to me Friday as I prepared a post of Friday Favorites (but then couldn’t go through with posting it because the day was so chaotic posting favorite things just didn’t seem very truthful at the moment.) that I don’t have this mothering four children gig figured out just yet. Most days I feel completely scattered. I feel like I’m off my game…not doing anything very well.

There’s so many things I forgot about this stage in child rearing. I also forgot that about every three days, things switch gears and it all changes again. I’m not complaining, I’m just admitting that this is harder than I remember and I’m still sprinting to regain all that knowledge.

I picture myself swimming against the current trying to grab on to anything that will stay in one spot, but something tells me to just let go and let the current take me…but I feel like life is more than just surviving the raging river. I’m a quality of life kinda girl, so if I’m going to let the current take me, I’d like to let it do its thing without making my mascara run. You feel me?

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I want to finish this Olympics of Motherhood with a medal…a bronze at that very least. I don’t want to just make the “alternate team.” I want my kids to remember me as the mom that brought it everyday…the mom that finished the race with a smile and red lipstick with a snack of cookies and milk too.  A little sweaty but happy to be in a lane with four little athletes behind me.

So today is Monday. We’re starting over fresh. And even though my days right now are completely crazy and unpredictable, I’m lacing up my life jacket and letting the current take me. I already know I’m going to get pissed about getting water up my nose, but I’ll get done riding it at the end of day as I tuck that last baby into bed and think that crazy river ride wasn’t all that bad….it was pretty good. And then we’ll do it all again the next day.

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Lets do this thing and do it well.


  1. anytime a new change takes place, be it a move, or a new baby, I feel like it takes about 9 months to feel normal, hang in there mama, you got this! We are all cheering ya to the finish line.

  2. I know exactly how you feel! I spent many years treading water . . . some days I still do, but it does get better. Just keep swimming. You are not alone!

  3. It's hard girl. The hardest of all jobs. Cut yourself some slack, put down the red lipstick and just exhale. You pushed out four beauts! If they are all alive, feeling loved with a smile on their faces…fed and clothed from day to day you are doing awesome.

  4. Everything you're experiencing and feeling is absolutely normal.
    You're gonna finish the race well, and your children will rise up and call you blessed.
    You're providing a home that they'l want to come home to and visit often.

    This stage is hard. I think I'd be worried if you weren't crying a few days a week. It's a lot.

    It's hard to let ourselves just have a hard season, isn't it? Wish I lived down the street. I'd take the baby so you could enjoy time at the pool with those older ones. Or, I'd take all four so you could enjoy some time to YOURSELF. ๐Ÿ™‚

    OR, I'd get a babysitter for all of our kids, so you and I could go drink Sangrias or Margaritas. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Please tell me you have one of those friends.

  5. I am so right there with you. My oldest is 15, middle is 12, and baby girl is almost 2. To say I forgot what it was like to be in this stage of child rearing is the understatement of the century. I have a special set of circumstances with my daughter, but I know how you feel. Let me tell you, you encourage me. I started following you on IG, and it's been good! You posted a pic of your rough day and it encouraged me to take the time to blow dry my own bangs. The red lipstick? No, I can't do that…yet. Baby steps. Thanks!

  6. Alicia,
    You have a wonderful way of admitting your feelings; the whole spectrum. These are the tiring years. You will finish strong! Thanks for your transparency and insights. I look forward to reading how God is moving in your lovely family. My 5 are teens and those tiring, baby, 'littles' years are in my rear view mirror; new and different adventures.

  7. This post reminds me of the quote, "There is no way to be a perfect mom, but a million ways to be a good one." Let go of perfection and re-adjust to having a new little one. It'll take time, but you will find your groove. You will ALL find your groove.

  8. A new baby definitely shakes things up. I've been trying to figure out our new routine as well. I bet you are doing better than you think you are.

  9. Alicia, you are a super mom! I think sometimes we work so hard to "mother" and get it all done, that we dont realize that just by doing whatever the day brings (chaos included)…..somehow our kids will get the love they need.Now I only have 2 kids, so my juggling is half of yours, but I grew up as one of five, with a mom and dad who worked full time. We had our own baseball team, an amazing game of hide n seek, and we also were great helpers. So crazy….unpredictable??? Your kids will be amazing at dealing with whatever life tosses their way. Just like they mama.

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