Page 31// Flee or Face It
It occurred to me a couple weeks ago that I didn’t really have to deal with all this. I homeschool. I don’t have a 9-5. If we have mice and I’m just stressed about life, I can take a time out and go stay with my parents for a few weeks. I really can. And up until two days ago, I thought I would. Just check out for a while and enjoy a break from the things weighing me down. Basically flee from it.
But two days ago, I decided I wouldn’t do that. Not that I couldn’t, I wouldn’t. I need to face this. Something like taking the bull by the horns and staring it in the face instead of hiding from it while its still stomping around in my life. Not that there’s any shame in taking a much needed siesta. I just know for now, this is not what I should do.
I have a life right now in my townhouse with honey oak cabinets. Right now, that is where life is. In my mind, I have linked that place with so much heartache and mental strain, but I’m working on training my mind to look at things differently and I believe that this place needs to be conquered, not hidden from.
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Right now, in South Dakota with my family, it feels good. Its a happy, safe place. A good week-long break. But next Wednesday, we’ll go back home and live it and embrace it. Life is not easy–no matter where you’re at. There is a time to flee it and a time to face it–and I choose to have the most epic staring contest and stare it down till it wishes it had never messed with me.
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Thankful for today:
1. the view from my aunt’s table
2. the quiet while I take in the view at my aunt’s table
3. the leaves in the snow…don’t know why that’s so pretty to me, but it really is
4. a mini-super-fast family photo shoot planned for today: hello early Christmas photo!
5. family
6. watching my kids navigate airport security like little pro’s
7. tiny footsteps overhead
8. time alone in the morning to get my thoughts centered right away
9. perspective
10. waking up…I mean really, its not just a given.
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Love your attitude.
You WILL prevail!
Enjoy being "home"
in SD.
xo Suzanne
I have loved reading your honesty here despite the fact that many days you were simply sharing your struggles. I can testify that there has been a shift here near the end of the month. I, too, did a 31 Days (of taking time to see the colors) and if nothing else the discipline of daily writing and perseverance in even one small part of my life has helped me, too, to have a perspective shift.
Darkness will not last forever…joy is just around the corner! The message of CHOOSING contentment has been slapping me in the face nearly constantly. And it's true. Sometime just making that choice seems like one more hurdle that busy mamas don't feel they have the energy to tackle.
Hang on dear sister. You are making it!
Claire Wood
I have so enjoyed your posts…they've been some of my most favorite.
I'm doing a "staring contest" with an area of my life that has weighed on me heavily…started counseling again a few weeks back…peeling back another layer.
it's exhausting…and running seems so fun at times, but then I remember that when I get to wherever I'm running to, it'll all still be there..waiting on me.
You're brave and I like you so much!
You make me smile. That is all. Have fun.
soak up that time with your family, sweetie.
savor every moment. ๐
have a wonderful week!
you better IG some of this goodness. ๐
love you!
xo
mary