We’re here! Well, we’re here in the Midwest. I wouldn’t say we’ve “arrived” yet, living like gypsies with family, but we’re getting there. Being completely settled might just take some time. 99% of our belongings are in storage now instead of the 10% that couldn’t fit in our townhouse and life feels a little upside-down, but it’s only been a week since we pulled out of our driveway for the last time–upside-down is to be expected.
This move has been harder on me that I anticipated. I’m up and down and everywhere in between. This emotional onslaught has hit me unexpectedly. I didn’t realize how like a fish out of water I would feel back “home.” Someone said to me, “I’m so glad you guys decided to move back home.” I wish I could have said to her how opposite of home things really feel. It feels like vacation. I wanted to tell her how I’m actually homeless currently…that we did decide to move within six hours of our hometown, but how that does not translate to home whatsoever…yet. I didn’t realize how the last three years have really enveloped me into North Carolina’s mountains…my temporary townhouse feels like home now. I wake up disorientated, feeling like I’m still there. I want to run across the street for coffee and German chocolate. I want to send my kids outside in their sweatshirts. I want to be home. Things haven’t sunk in. It’s only been a week, but when so much happens in seven days, it feels like months.
I want to write this out–I want to record how I feel right now, because I know it will be different a year from now. We’ll acclimate to our new surroundings. We’ll be home soon. We’re on the hunt for that perfect place this weekend actually. I want to write it out, but I’m making the conscious decision to filter where I write it–I’m saving a lot of it just for me, for later. I do love sharing some here though because I know SO many of you have been here. Hell, I was only here a little over three years ago and so many of you came to my rescue with so many personal stories of being right here. But some things will be saved just for me.
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I’m happy to be here in Minneapolis. I forgot about the amazing shopping, the city lights at night, the lakes that go on forever. But half my heart is still in Asheville. I miss so much and so many. It’s a weird middle place that not everyone understands. Making the decision to ride this wave today…choosing to: enjoy looking at all the houses, enjoy shopping for new boots, feeling content that my kids are being cared for by family that loves them while I’m away from them, and embrace every wave of emotion that hits me in the face. I’ve got this–my weak heart has got this.
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