Mom-Bit Monday: I Can Change (most) Things

I want to tell you something.

I want to tell you how I feel.

I feel like a pretty sub-par mom a lot.

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As in, I lose my temper often…often. I yell too much. I have very little patience even at 8am. I’m crabby a lot.

I did decide though, that that type of thinking…that I’m a sub-par mom, is not a good way to think. It’s an ugly thought I shouldn’t be having, so I had another thought.  Since I feel like this all too often maybe I could play reverse psychology on myself.  Maybe if on some Mondays I share with you something that worked for me or share something good that I read about being a good mama, I could focus on the goods instead of the inadequacies.

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I think a lot of us mama-folk feel inadequate. We’re tired and frazzled and overworked and underpaid…is anyone giving me an “Amen” out there??

Thank you.

We need to be better to ourselves. Kinder. Gentler. Yes, to ourselves.

So here’s my Mom-Bit today: I realized on Friday why it was such a great day….I made it one. *Gasp!*  Ya, like I really did. Something happened to me that morning and I just decided.

Those little things weren’t going to piss me off, because really spilt milk is just sucky and that’s the end of it. No use making your wee one feel like a big, fat loser over that, you know?

I’ve talked about this before, but really this message bears repeating: we set the tone in our homes, mamas. Yes, as scary as that is, we do. If we are short and crabby and ugly, chances are our kids will be that way too. Friday was such a productive day and quiet and lovely and I think it was (mostly) because I set the tone from the get-go like that.

Let’s chill today and build our babies up.



  1. choices, choices….I talked about something similar today over in my space in blogland.

    I'm having to choose not to manage a certain 12 year old boy also known as my firstborn. ๐Ÿ™‚

    It's harder than it seems, but I'm choosing! His manhood depends on it. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. oh sister, i COMPLETELY understand your feelings! there have been some nights where i just want to sit and cry because i just KNOW that i was a horrible mom that day.
    mostly it's my own thoughts turning against me – we aren't horrible moms but like you said.. just tired and overwhelmed etc.
    i love love this mom-bit monday thing you are going to do! xoxo

  3. Love all of it…and I've been a crabby mom lately too. Stress balls! Kinda hatin' how fast this time of year flies and how I can't really slow down to enjoy any of it:/

  4. Amen! "If Mama ain't happy, then ain't nobody happy." (My mother would kill me for that grammatical faux pas.)

    P.S. I want to paint a sign that says, "chill out & build up." I need that reminder on a daily…and usually hourly basis. ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. hit send to soon.
    I feel like I have been having those feeling that last few weeks. The other day while watching a show the mom laughed at a big mess the kids made and my daughter told me that she wished I was like that…big wake up call!

  6. Amen! I REALLY needed to read this this morning! I had an Ugly Momma day yesterday and I have felt quite guilty about it all morning. Augh…I hate feeling that way. So, as I sit in a quiet house this morning, I am praying about just the thing you wrote. Help me to set a positive tone in this home. Help me to lead by example and just love my boys despite the messes they make. Help me to have more patience with my husband. Help me to not sweat the small stuff. Thank you Alicia…it helps to know that there are other mommas out there that feel the same way! P.S. I just hung up my "be merry" banner this weekend and I love it…now I just need to be a little more merry ๐Ÿ˜‰

  7. yes and amen.
    if mama aint happy, aint NObody happy.
    totally true.
    i know my family sometimes walks on eggshells around me if they know im crabby. thats HORRIBLE!
    i so want to be a gracious Godly woman, overflowing with His love and joy.
    slamming down the devils lies and claiming God's Truth is key for me!
    love this.

  8. Amen and Amen!
    Oh how I needed to read this this morning. This mamma is tired and already feeling cranky. UGH. So thank you for this! I'm gonna take a chill pill and go with the flow today!
    Love the 'Mom bit Monday' idea! And love you!!

  9. we so set the tone. something i MUST remember. because i get so darn frustrated too often. i saw hunter react to something badly just like i do and it made me sad. today i'm starting today with a skip in my step. : )

  10. AMEN!! Girl since you mentioned we set the tone over the summer, i have been thinking that too! It is so true!! Another ah-ha moment was figuring out that my kids really aren't trying to drive me insane they are just kids and don't always think things through! Instead of laying into them and making them feel like dirt, take the opportunity to TEACH THEM!! I'm excited for your mom-bit Mondays. We seem to be on the same wave length as mama's and look forward to your words of wisdom. I'm so happy you are feeling better and back in blog mode!

  11. Ah, this makes me want to cry. How you come across things right when you need them most. Thank you for this, Alicia. And thanks for being honest.

    I'm going to make today great and set a happy tone! We have so much to be thankful for!

    Instead of lamenting and being so hard on myself because I haven't read to my girls as much as I should, I'm going to just perk up and read to them:) Not beat myself into the ground over it. Onward and Upward! lol!

  12. Amen!
    I just read an awesome book called 'be the mom: overcome attitude traps and enjoy your kids".
    It is an awesome book and a quick read and it reminded me that we are all human!

    I hope you have many many many more wonderful days to come ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Big hugs!

    PS…we are planning a weekend trip to your neck of the woods soon, just FYI ๐Ÿ˜‰

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