Believe it or not, we homemakers really do make our homes feel like a home. It took me a while to figure this out, be we do. Our special super power is to make our homes feel like cozy havens, even if they have ugly carpet or bad wall paper. We can do this and the thing is, nobody else will do it for us. Sometimes when we’ve been busy and out running errands all day, we just need to come home and create some calm in our little bubble. There’s certain things that help us create this magic thing called calm. Candles, soft music, or fresh sheets might be a few.
How to create calm in our homes
Do an emergency clean for nobody but ourselves. Sometimes I do this if everything just seems out of sorts. I’ll do an emergency clean for no one but me…and my family too of course. If I can set my timer and clean for even 15 minutes, everything feels a little better.
I always light a candle if I want to create a calmer feeling in my home. I’ve been obsessed with Bath and Body Works this fall. They have great sales and coupons and their candles are my favorite. Filling your home with fresh balsam or spiced pumpkin can even a calm so quick.
Turn everything off: TV’s, computers, music, whatever else is on…turn it off. To me, nothing creates a chaotic feeling more than blaring cartoons or loud music when it just needs to chill out.
Turn on some calm. I love to play piano music or something soft like Norah Jones radio when I want everyone to take it down a notch.
At night, turn OFF the overhead lighting and turn ON the warm fuzzy lamp light. I have such a fetish about good lighting. Overhead lights drive me crazy…yes, the opposite of calm. The warm lamplight makes everything more relaxing.
If you’re alone, run yourself a bath. Take your time and enjoy a warm bath. I promise you will emerge in a calmer state.
Declare a quiet time. On days when everyone is really crazy and not caring at all about the calm thing, I will either send them all outside to play or send them each to separate corners to read by themselves. I usually give them a time limit and have them stay that way till the time is up. They will usually come out of their quiet time a lot more calm.
Next time everything feels out of sorts, create some calm in your home. Only you can do this. Kids? Not so calm. Yes, mama, only you can create this. :)
This post is part of a 31-day series on simplifying our homes and schools.
To read from the beginning of this series, click here:
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yes yes yes! great post. along with a candle i put some essential oil in my diffuser, especially eucalyptus and lavender.
I feel calmer just reading this! 🙂
I relate to so much of what you've said here! It makes me want to hear more as well. I always love the me I am when we are camping 🙂
I have SO enjoyed your series this month. Honestly, I have found that I can take away some nugget of truth with every post/tip you have written and shared from your heart and experience.
One thing I do during the home school week is I have declared the 2:30-3:30 hour the "Quiet Hour." I even have a list typed up of things my kids can enjoy quietly without my input. No electronics, no fighting, no noise. Legos, puzzles, Phase 10, go outside, Playdough, paint…basically I just want to be left alone for one hour.
My kids are 7,9, and 11 but we have implemented this long before now. Even when they were younger they knew the alternative to entertaining themselves was a nap in their beds. It didn't take long for them to see things my way. =)
During that time I get a power nap, read, sit on my porch with a cup of coffee and my journal or catch up on New Girl or Parenthood on the DVR. I have tried to train myself that this hour is NOT for working for me. No thinking about dinner plans, no cleaning, no list making. For me, this time really helps me to get my "second wind" for the evening push.
On a related note, two weeks ago we were on a vacation to Hilton Head Island with my extended family and I was having the conversation with my sister on this exact idea of home being a place of rest or comfort. I actually said to her, "how do I find a way to take 'Vacation Claire' back home with me?"
You see, I feel like I do a great job of making home a place of comfort and rest for everyone else in my family. I bust my rear for our home to be a place of happiness and peace….homemade pound cake, a fresh pot of decaf waiting for the husband when he's headed home from work, a mostly tidy house, filled fridge, good dinners, clean linens, fresh flowers, burning candles. I get it. But many days it feels like I'm running a B&B for the four other people who live here (and don't even get me started on the home schooling too), but I find that when *I* walk through the door home equates a feeling of work and demands and anything BUT relaxing for me. I'm all Alice Brady when I want to be Carol Brady.
Despite creating my "Quiet Hour" it still feels like home is a place where my productivity is measured in my to-do lists, my meal plans, and all of my efforts to make home awesome. I often joke to my husband that I would LOVE to be married to me. =)
I promise I'm not a martyr. I think I am just a perfectionist who places an absurdly huge amount of expectations on myself and the vibe of our home. (Too much Martha and not enough Mary from the Bible.) I am constantly seeking to find that balance that includes *me* when making home a place of peace, comfort and rest.
Sorry for the emotional upchuck. =) Would love to have a cup of coffee and pick your brain about this idea of rest for the mamas too!
You're 31 Days series has been a huge blessing to me. Thanks for sharing your routines, your suggestions and all of your awesome. Keep on, keepin' on Mama.