February 4, 2012

focus {said with a southern "o"}

A week before Christmas, I had started forming mental goals for the new year. I always do this. Physical/Spiritual/Home/School/Projects/Vacations; it's all planned out. I love making goals. I love having a word for the year.

Last year my word was breathe and I loved that. But last year was different than this year.

About one day before Christmas it hit me: there was no way I was emotionally ready to make a bunch of goals for myself. I felt slightly like a cheater not even setting one goal besides writing out some books I wanted to read. I didn't even want a word. I feel like the last three months have lent enough change. Even one more resolution maaaaay have just put me over the edge.

I still feel really fragile. Like I'm not quite myself yet. Not having my own house, not being familiar with anything, having new everything, even a new dialect has been a tough adjustment. Much harder on me then anyone else. That was unexpected. Even being super prepared (or so I thought) and excited for our new adventure didn't cover the stress that's been involved in this move. It's getting better everyday though. There's so much about this new place that I love...it's just different and change is hard...hence the no goal thing.

BUT for as hard as I had my heels dug in the dirt about not working and changing on myself right now, sometime in mid-January I heard a little word being whispered to me.......
focus. focus. focus. focus. focus. focus. focus. focus. focus.

And you know what?? He's totally right. It hit me so hard: Just take this limbo time to focus on the two things you're responsible for right now: family and self. self and family.

Now, each of those two things have many subcategories, but it's still something to focus on.

As a total sidenote, I am finding myself talking like them, y'all. I'm being serious here. All the Southerners draw out their vowels, especially their o's and i's "ah". You know what I mean. I sometimes try to do it when I'm alone with my kids but guess what, now it's kinda sorta sticking. Like I've joked around so much, I'm almost being converted. So when you read the word "focus" a million times in this post, just join in my addiction and hooold that "o" out...like (l"ah"ke) "foooocus." Oh, I so wish I could just read this post to you. It would make you laugh. Foooocus.
Let's move on.

I realized that's all I can do right now; FOCUS.
Because I honestly don't know when we'll be buying a house and I honestly don't know what our future holds, but I do know I have three babies that need me to feed them, love them, educate them and I have a husband that needs that too...minus the education. And then there's me. And I need my things, like my business and blogging. I have NO other obligations and I am seriously going to relish in this time.

No, I don't love renting. BUT this townhouse is spacious enough, new, safe, and perfectly convenient for us. We don't have to mow. If there's a leak, it's not our issue. It's not old and beautiful like my old house, but that's part of the adventure right?? I'm choosing to embrace instead of resist, which is so. not. my. natural. tendency. MMMMMkkkk??

That day mid-January, I seriously felt the Lord just telling me to let go of all the unknowns and F.O.C.U.S. on what's in front of me. I know, without a doubt, that He will take care of the rest.

So guess what?? I have a word...it's FOCUS.

And guess what? I'm totally doing it, y'all.


Farmgirl Paints said...

Love your word. Something I have to remind myself of all the time.

Kristi McInerney said...

Hi Alicia...I'm a mom of two, I have a wonderful husband who's in finance, and I've been homeschooling my kids since they were 2 (Julia is now 4 and Mark 2 1/2) I love it. I used to be an elementary teacher in a christian school...can I ask what curriculum you used for kindergarten for your kids? I'm also a new follower on your blog!

Etheline said...

I love the moments of realizations and clarity that pop up in our chaotic lives that some how bring everything full circle. My word this year would be pause. I need to remember to take a minute every now and then; for myself, with my children, and my husband.

Mary said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mary said...

ahhhhhh...embracing vs. resisting.
God is slowly prodding me, too.
my oldest will be 13{going on 30} and it has been REALLY hard for me to embrace that. really!
love your word, and i love even more how God whispered it to you.
it's so interesting, because when i was challenged by even having a 'word', He did the EXACT same thing to me.
He whispered intentional, intentional, intentional...and that 's what i really need to be right now. i haven't had the guts to write it all out yet, though. ;)
i love it when He speaks, don't you? it makes Him feel so close.

ps that pic of sophia on the swing melts my heart....she looks just. like. you. :)

carissa at lowercase letters said...

renting sounds amazing, considering it means you aren't burdened down with a mortgage that is more than the darn house is worth now. sorry, do i sound bitter? anyways. i'm really happy you can have this time, of newness and transition, to kind of cocoon and soak up family; focus on the main things. then when you sprout your wings, it's going to be something really beautiful, all in His time. right now it's beautiful too.

Melissa said...

Hi, Alicia,
Your new-found love for the Southern dialect makes me chuckle. Being from the South myself, I get asked "where are you from?!" all the time up here in SD. I seriously thought I could hear Paula Deen reading your blog to me tonight.

Shannon said...

Hi Alicia~great word to "focus" on.
I am a transplant from California to Texas and find myself starting to twang more & more:)

Sarah said...

Have I told you that I have a word too? I've been doing that for about 5 years now. Last year was "pray" this year is "nurture". Can't wait to see what that's going to bring, because I'm not very good at being nurturing and I wasn't very good at praying either... He's a good teacher isn't He!

Love you my friend. Don't laugh too hard at the pictures I just emailed you, mmmkay!?

Mandy said...

cracking up at the pronunciation...think you'll say it like that in your head all year?! LOVE the new header. way cute! blessings in the new year for all your goals!

Jessie May said...

I've really enjoyed reading this post, thank you for being both honest and inspiring. I usually set myself goals each year; last year was to face things and not bury my head, this year, like you, I am going to focus. I spend way too much time day dreaming and not enough time actually concentrating on what I want to do. Sometimes when you see things in writing, it becomes real. So a big thank you. ps. we have snow in England, yay!!

Smallgood said...

I too am intrigued by your analysis of the Southern accent. Just remember the Appalachian accent is much different than other Southerners-- more pronounced I'd say because of how long they were isolated. Go down to the low-country areas in any of the southern states and you'll have a devil of a time figuring out what they're telling you.

Your word reminded me a bit of "carpe diem." Being thankful in all things and all moments. Considering the huge splash the "Don't carpe diem" post made lately, I like your refreshing take.

Elise said...

I think its so funny to hear people's take on our accents. You should totally do another video with your new accent. Hahahaha!!!
I hope you do finally feel settled and at peace here, though...I've never moved out of state, so I can't totally relate. I do live an hour and a half from my Mom, and that's bad enough.

Jacqui said...

You hit the nail on the head Alicia, you just have to enjoy the moment you are in today and focus on what you have and not what you don't have!! Accents are hillarious, you should try being from New Zealand and living in Canada, its like I speak a foreign language!!! My husband always says we have to wait and see but i'm not a wait and see kinda girl, i want to be in my forever home, with my forever things but he's right. Life is constantly changing and we just have to go with the flow and focus on the now. Enjoy today :)

jahorn12820 said...

I do the "word" thing too. I heard it on KLOVE a couple years ago and I always choose a word, rather than a new year's resolution. My word is Pray. Here's to 'pray'ing and 'focus'ing! :)

jahorn12820 said...

p.s. one of my really good friends from high school was originally from Arkansas, and everytime I would stay the night at her house I would always catch myself speaking with a little draw. I can't believe you haven't picked up the whole accent yet!

Blissful Blooms said...

I just love you friend!
Enjoy this sweet time when you ARE ABLE to just focus on your family and you. 'To everything there is a season . . .'

Cailan said...

wow. so perfect for me as the husband just sat me down and told me we'd probably need to rent. Oh how I want to get settled and nest in our own (character-rich) house right out of the gate. so I'm making myself get used to the idea and like you say, it will be part of the adventure. And love the focus. And love that you're doing it. :)

debbie h. said...

Hahaha, so I am from the south, Va. to be exact. And just to be even more fun, go back and read your post and really exaggerate that "o" in every word that has the "o" in it. All of a sudden, your post sounds like it is straight out of "Gone With The Wind." You need to do a little home video with you practicing your new accent:)
Have a looooovely week my friend!

Biz said...

I've been saying y'all for far too long...probably because I spent a stint of my childhood living in the south and it just kinda stuck with me.
I also like to say Howdy...although I don't know anyone else who does that...so that does get weird stares thrown my way. Oh well!
Focus...I like it.
Let me know if I can help in anyway ;)

Y'all have a good afternoon ya'hear ;)


Related Posts with Thumbnails